just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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