He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
