all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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