I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
