He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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