he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize