Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
