someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
there is glitter all over my balls
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
