So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
