I molested 6 butterflies tonight
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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