dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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