I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
