I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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