"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
