Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
