STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
