the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
