Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize