Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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