the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize