those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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