you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize