he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
