For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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