He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize