My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
