Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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