My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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