I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize