also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
