You're earring is so big in my mouth
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
