So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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