Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
