What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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