I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
