make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
