Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Mom said you looked used
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
