That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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