that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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