he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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