He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize