God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My life is pants optional.
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