Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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