Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
