i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
