and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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