She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
