After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
