yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
