maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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