the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i used baking grease as lip gloss
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
