Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
