Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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