This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
be right there i have to get my cape
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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