The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
