Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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