lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
