Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
